Just say "No"

I am always amidst funny incidents. The other day at the train station a beggar (if I can call so) or an extensively money deprived man walked up to me and my friends and said, "Guys, I have to get till Linden. I have 5 dollars and need 2 bucks." Ahem - I am new to this country, I don't know how they treat such people here, should I say no, run away from there, smile at him or stay put-a thought that suddenly irrupted into the conscious mind.

I chose to play safe and just nodded my head in an disapproving fashion(READ: Indian fashion), Shai turned his face, so did the other guys standing along. He vociferated, "Guys, just say no! Don't turn your heads the other way". At that moment I felt I should have given him the 2 bucks!! A white man (No - this is not a racist term here, a white man is called "a white man") smiled at me and said, "Did you see that beggar with a f***ing attitude? You ask money and you showing such huge starry attitude". Phew! I felt a bit relieved! I took the train back home and was thinking to myself, the beggar made a point. If I had no interest of giving him 2 bucks I shouldn't have ignored his question, rather I should have said, No!

I also think its probably more to the Indians, we take it so personally when we have to say no. It's not that we lack assertiveness, we just feel its necessary to meet everybody's expectations. When asked one of my friends, he said, "I feel guilty when I say no" - trust me one of the smart workers at work.

Saying no at work, to your boss, to your relatives, to your parents, to relationships-both which work and don't work, sometimes to beggars should not be difficult. Also with saying no comes the fact of accepting "no" as an answer.

Say no without feeling guilty, say no with confidence.
~RJ