Do you have children?

Folks, I am gonna be writing more frequently now - I promise. I have been busy watching IPL and reading "The Reluctant Fundamendalist" by Mohsin Hamid. I have also started studying again and it feels good to be doing something different than the usual.

I wanted to share an interesting conversation that happened during my recent kickboxing class - Damn! I was so confused!

Xena, a japanese girl, petite & strong has been training for 3 years or more. We were engaged in our regular kickboxing drills wherein at one point you just stay out waiting for the other guys to complete their drill. She started talking to me in the class of more than 10 people. I was a regular and picked up the moves pretty well, pretty soon - maybe she kinda liked my determination! I am not being pompous.

Xena: hey, your moves are good & too soon
Me: hey..thanks a ton! Your kicks look powerful too. I am Raj and u..?
Xena: (smiling) I am Xena. Yeah! I am surviving
Me: You taking the class on Thursdays too?
Xena: No, I have a late class and I hate my school
Me: (smiling) You sure do. I work and I like it, moreover, this class and tennis keeps me refreshing
Xena: Not that I am a ubbie, it's just that I hate the long commute. Again, I have no choice as my daughter learns dancing in Jersey City.
Me: Daughter??..!! (Here's where I start getting confused & my confusion never ends. Remember folks, I told you she was petite, looked between 18-22)
Xena: Yeah, she keeps me on my toes
Me: How old is she?
Xena: The elder one is 15 and the younger one is 11
Me: (about to faint) Ok ----I had no other choice but to respond as if I expected the answer---- nice, should be fun
Xena: Do you have children?
Me: No, I am not married yet
Xena: (confused) Yea, but do you have children?
Me: (confused to the core) No (by this time my mind was completely shambolic)

I walk away from that place with a confused look and asking myself, "Do I have children? - damn".

Thats when I remembered my friend telling me when I first entered America. He said, RJ always remember 2 things. First, don't forget the cross streets when you street park you car. Secondly, if somebody asks you "do you have children?" doesn't mean you have to be married!! It is highly possible that a girl might say, "these are my kids and they are living with my boyfriend. I am not married yet."

This is kinda difficult for me to digest because my culture back home in India teaches me to get married and only then have kids. I ain't complaining about the American culture, I understand they have been following this for ages and the Indian culture maybe anal for them. I am just not comfortable with these questions because I can't answer them. Lol!

I am Indian by birth, I understand, I respect & follow my culture. I respect all the other cultures in the world too. If you happen to be in the States and face such a question, be prepared to answer!!

Over & out.
~RJ