Paanch minute hain tumhare paas! Paanch minute!

5 minutes is 300 seconds - as if nobody knew!! These 300 seconds sometimes feel so long and sometimes just fades away even before you could react. I had tagged Anubha about her take on 5 minutes and here's her work. Isn't she the best and cute? Since I loved the topic so much I wanted to come up with my version of 5 minutes - hope you enjoy reading this too!

Ever wondered why this 5 minutes acts weirdly crazy on us? The extra 5 minutes of the morning sleep dismisses quickly leaving behind a not-so-rhythmic sound of the alarm clock. The buzzing never seems to happen when you are all geared up for a trek, a visit to a water park or a hill-station outing. Ever wondered why?

Read on: It's just not about the extra sleep, it's about a zillion things that the happens to us in the daily routine. It's 4:55PM, I am at work, absolutely seeing every second ticking away, but it doesnt't seem to end. This time, perhaps, the 300 seconds just decided to move at a pace of 3000 seconds! Phew! Earlier in the same day, it was my weekly status meeting and obviously I forgot to get my reports done. For my status meeting at 11AM I started to work on my report at 10:45AM and the 15 minutes just vanished. Aaargh!

Scene this - My friend is smiling and staring at the laptop. I asked him, "Dude, wassup? What are you smiling at?" He responds back, "Arre, woh aanewali hain 5 minute mein!!" He is over-joyous and is watiting for his girlfriend and they chat their weekend away to glory. I meet him almost at the end of the day and he shoots a statement, "Twas so quick yaar!!" (Damn, it was more than 8 hours!!)

5 minutes before a break during a lecture seem so long and the 5 minutes of the break seems shorter. 5 minutes of the flight delay when you plan to meet your girlfriend seem long and the 5 minutes while kissing her goodbye seems shorter.

Ever wondered why? How does these 5 minutes matter to you? Why?

Yet to understand the tale of 5 minutes,
~RJ

I want to be a girl!

Folks, before you start your thinking engines, this ain't any kind of a ribald humour neither am I promoting the sex change operation. But if there is another life that I could live, I want to be born as a girl! I have my own reasons and maybe this would get through your gates too.

One of the most important reasons I want to be a girl is the priviledge of giving birth to someone. Guys - all of you are also involved in the process but as always we do the easy thing and get out leaving the pain for them to suffer. I would love to see myself giving birth to someone and taking the onus to bear that pain for once. I know this could sound as a wacka cracken thought but in this age where fathers are killing daughters, children killing their parents, husbands killing wives, death tolls taking a top gear and all this happening mercilessly , I want to give birth to feel special, to feel that something and then hear someone say to me, "You did good, you were brave. He/She looks exactly like you". Whoa! I get the jitters!

Read on - I am not crazy! I feel a million percent that girls are smarter than guys in most of the aspects. Scene this: Our family of 4 finished lunch and we are all helping mom to put the used utensils in the sink. My mom tells my dad to transfer the left over dal to a smaller utensil so that she could clean the bigger one which she used to cook the dal. And what follows is super fun - my dad obviously picks a smaller utensil pours the dal into it just to find that its much smaller to hold everything. Mom gives him a stare and tells him in tamil, "aacha..oru vellai ki iru vellai acha" roughly meaning "Did you successfully manage to increase my workload 200%?". My dad is helplessly grinning. This is a comparison of a 30 years experienced, distinction graded Civil Engineer vs a metric passed woman!! My mom could say what would fit into what with her eyes closed - not because shes trained on household chores, because she's a woman and women are smarter! Let's just plainly accept it!

It's not only about a housemaker, consider an architect, an interior designer, a fashion designer, a choregrapher, a painter - I am sure their work is better than a male conterpart. The reason is women see colors, the way it should be seen, they see it with all liveliness. I would think one of the major reasons this happens is because they talk about others earrings, their dress, their hairstyle, neigbours furniture etc. Talking about these things invariably improves their creative mastery. Can you imagine a guy saying, "Dude, that's a nice tie-pin. I wanted to buy one like that for ages?"

Many of my friends complained that its the gossip that we can't handle. I am so sure that guys love all the gossip. The husbands like to hear from their wife about their neighbours job, trust me I have seen such cases. Once in the elevator, a guy telling his colleague, "Did Tanya file her divorce? She was screaming over the phone the other day, I think it was her husband." The other guy asks, "What was she saying?" If woman gossip, men gossip too!

Lets give them their space, its ok for them to talk about earrings, necklaces, scarves, shoe color, finger rings, lipsticks when you talk about X-box, PSP, BMW Z series, Ironman & cricket!!

We don't want to live in a planet where everybody think from their mind. We need people to think from their heart too and only they can do it. For those who think women can just take decisions thinking from heart, remember we have a political leader of a ruling party and the President of the nation as live examples.

I wanna be a girl and hail womanhood! (P.S I am not a feminist!)
~RJ

Note: All my guy friends I still love you and I am not gay! Feel happy that I can be your girlfriend in your next life! LOL!

Sweet smell of failure

"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" - Winston Churchill

I normally don't like to paste articles from forwarded emails, new articles, internet sites etc. but this was special. KKR - Kolkata Knight Riders is not performing well in the 1st season of IPL and here's something that the team owner had to say to his guys.

SRK's SMS: "Story time boys... I told you if you keep losing you have to bear with my long, boring msgs.... This is your punishment.... Many times I have made movies which don't do well.... When I'm doing them, of course, I don't know they won't do well.... The story is written by somebody else and I just do my bit as an actor. But I have a way of dealing with flop stories, I try my best to keep my character in the film at a level that it makes a failed story also special for me....

I enjoy the work.... I make jokes about the failure.... And, of course, feel awful about it too.... So, right now, all of us have become part of a failed script... A bad IPL script.... Let's try and keep our characters worthy of still looking back at this story and remembering it as a special story becos we all worked very hard at this....

So, chin up and don't spoil yr character in the next two games.... Let's go out with a bang and not a whimper.... In films, we say u r only as good as yr last film.... So let's make the whole world know how good we r in the last (maybe not) two games...

Also, do ignore all this bit about Dada, me and John having issues.... It's a normal thing in the world.... People like to hit you when u r down.... So, we will be hit.... No stress.... It will make us stronger.... The only way to avoid this is to win.... That's one of the reasons why everybody likes to be a winner....

On the other hand, the beauty of failure is that it brings people together.... So, let's stick this out together.... You know me well enuff to know I am not the kind of owner who has issues with the team 'cos of losses... I am too much of a sport myself to get beaten by defeats.... Like you guys are.... Like Dada and John....

I am still trying to understand the code of conduct expected of me at the matches of the IPL.... ICC... etc.... After I understand it, I will decide whether to accept it or not.... Till such time, I will be with you guys at the hotel... in the meetings etc., but won't come for the matches.... So, please don't ever feel it is anything to do with us as a team....

I am as dedicated to my Knights as I am to my kids.... Only, I won't be coming to the class room till the headmaster's rules are understood by me.... I am a bit anti-establishment kind of a guy, so I apologise for this quirk to u all.... So, head's up.... Have a good match and let's make 200 runs tomorrow.... This 150 seems to not work any more."

Who wouldn't want to work with a front-runner with such amazing sense of leadership? The message is motivational, inspirational & commanding. For folks who want to cavil this thought, we should just buy the fact that he's indeed the "King Khan".

Cheering for KKR,

~RJ

இது என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் கட்டுரை!!

சந்தீப் டேகு செய்ததினால் தான் இந்த கட்டுரையை நான் எழுதுகிறேன். என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் கட்டுரையை எழுதி போஸ்ட் பண்றதுக்கு எனக்கு ரொம்ப சந்தோஷமா இருக்கு. முதலில் சந்தீப், காயத்ரி, அனுபா மற்றும் வித்யா அவர்களை ப்ளாக்ல சந்திப்பதில் ரொம்ப சந்தோஷமா இருக்கு. இவர்கள் எல்லாருமே எனக்கு நல்ல நண்பர்கள் மற்றும் சிறந்த எழுத்தாளர்கள்.

அதிர வைக்கிற மாதிரி ஐடியா கொடுப்பதில் சந்தீப் பெரிய ஆளு!!!!

சில நாட்களாக நான் நிறைய கட்டுரைகள் படித்து அதனுடன் என்னுடைய கருத்துகளையும் பரிமாறி கொள்கிறேன். சில நாட்களாக நான் போஸ்ட் பண்ணுவது கொஞ்சம் கமி ஆயிடுச்சு. ஆனால் இப்பொழுது எனக்கு என்னுடைய தாய் மொழி தமிழில் எழுவதற்கு வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்ததினால் உற்சாகம் அடைந்து உள்ளேன்.

இது இல்லாமல் என்னுடைய இடுப்பு அளவு 36 இல் இருந்து 32 ஆகா குறைத்து உள்ளேன் என்னுடைய கடின உடற்பயிற்சியால். மற்றும் அதை 30 இல் இருந்து 31குள் குறைக்க முயற்சிக்கிறேன்.

இவ்வளவையும் நான் எழுதி ரொம்ப டயர்ட் ஆயிட்டேன். நிச்சயமா இத படிச்சு நீங்களும் டயர்ட் ஆயிருபீங்க :D

இதே போல எழுதி கொண்டும் சிரித்து கொண்டும் காலத்தை இன்பமாக அனுபவிப்போம்!!


P.S This is my mother tongue tamil. Sandeep this post is coming out just coz' you tagged :). Anybody who could decipher this piece of text would be a genius!! Waiting for all your comments and I tag Gayathri, Anubha, Vidhya - post something in your mother tongue!!

Ambi & Prithvi - thanks a ton for helping me get this act together :D

Chicken burrito with no chicken please!!

In about 2.5 years, I have travelled enough to observe the antics performed by our people in flights. An acrid debate would follow which believes this is just an exception of crowd - but it is indeed a larger exception. A bunch of aviophobic people packing the dhoklas, teplas and farsan get onto the bird. Believe me packing your teplas is not bad - it's indeed a good idea but we also need to understand and respect the culture of the visiting nation.

I would like to share my experience during my flight from JFK to BOM. I was busy enjoying the movie Hera Pheri after my dinner. The smiling Punjabi family next to me was loud to the extent that the sound scale was over a 100 decibel and it could penetrate my headphones to the ear drums. The head of the family wanted to come out(he was seated in a center seat) for his bio-break (10th time in 4 hours!!). I decided to do some stretching, given no choice but to get up from my aisle seat. There was some space close to the emergency exit door and I decided to stand there for sometime till my Punjabi neighbour could get it. He decided to join me and started talking about his kids, their American wives, specifically the Black American wife of the younger son, bad service in the flight almost everything when I patiently waited for him to finish and get back to his seat which would allow me enjoy my rest of the movie. By this time, an air hostess passed by and shes asked us, "Sir, would you like some ice-cream?" I said, "No, thanks". My dear Punjabi friend replied, "Oye, ice-cream ko chod, beer-sheer hojaye!". She just smiled and walked away.

Now this is not the only problem we carry on our backs. We start to believe that for the hefty sum we paid for the economy class we should get all that's available. The so called whites look down upon Asians for many reasons - lack of hygiene, lack of dressing sense, loud talking, rushing for no reason, no patience, anger, uncool attitude, too much involvement in other people's life and the list goes on.

We all need to also understand that we as Indian travellers, Indian software engineers, Indian doctors, Indian shop-keepers in a foreign land are brand ambassadors of India and at all times should be proud to represent our country at par with others. A bit of decency, a bit of awareness of the other culture is very important during travelling and living in a different nation.

Another funny incident that shook me was when I went to this Mexican joint called "Taco-Bell" with one of my vegetarian friend. She was quick enough to tell "A chicken burrito with no chicken please!!". My reaction was, "What??!" and she smiled and said "Chalta hain!". The "chalta hain" is a killer word!

We can either think and improve ourselves or learn from others. The other option is to say, "Saala desi, yahan aake bhi sudregaa nahi!!"

Keep smiling, keep posting!
~RJ

The "R" in my life

As a kid, I couldn't pronounce the alphabet "R", instead of R it would be Ya. For instance, Ram would be Yam. This happened till the 10th grade. I was thinking about one funny incident that happened when I was in my 6th or 7th class. My mom told me to get bread from the shop close to our house.

So I am at this shop called Sai-Krupa and ask him, "bhaiyya, bread dona". He ignores me and I again ask him, "bhaiyya, bhaiyya bread dona". This time around he gets irritated and gives me a blade. 7'0 clock blade. I was like, "bhaiyya, yeh nahi..bread chahiye" and he replies saying, "yehi blade hain humhare paas".

I am totally embarassed and point my finger towards the bread and tell him, "woh chahiye Wibbs ka bread". He angrily replied, "toh bread bolona...blade kya hain". I was sadly thinking to myself - "kitne time bola...samaj mein nahi aaya aapko". Similarly, I used to fear that nobody should ask me my name. My name is Bharathiraja. Let me be frank and tell you, when people asked me my name i used to say "Bhayathiyaja". There's no take away from this post, I remembered this incident today so thought of sharing it with you guys!!

Keep yeading and keep yolling...oops..keep reading and keep rolling!!
~RJ

That's my bro - featured!!

Check this out! He used the camera and he's featured. It's a short post about the yet to be launched Mahindra Ingenio. It's featured in cubi[CC]apacity - the Indian Automobile Arena.

This is what an iPhone can do :)
~RJ

Break the ice or wait till it melts!

[Based on a true life story] :D

Kurty told me the other day over some conversation that it was difficult for him to break the ice, but once he does he can sail in pretty smoothly. What about me? Do I have the same problem? - Phew! I think I have that problem too! It's called breaking the ice & sometimes it can also be called breaking the face. One quick inputs from my wannabe rockstar friend was pick-up lines. I feel pick-up lines with all those add-ons don't work. I asked him a few examples of pick-up lines and here's what he had to say - it's just a few of his whole lot!

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

You see my buddy there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute, smart and sexy

Do you have a map? (She says: No, why?) Because I keep getting lost in your eyes

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you

The last time I saw you, I was dreaming

Funny isn't it? Later I realised I could find all of these in the web. My friend has a book full of pick-up lines and he carries them all the time. Ok - I just made this one. Pick-up lines can be funny but it's not encouraging for the girl. The least she could do is smile or the worst she would do is slap! You don't want to be there in either of the scenarios.

So what else can one do? Maybe a smile. Just a plain smile. I have tried this and many times what followed was ignorance. Some girls can be rude or they just wanna make you look funny. She might give you the worst look as if you did something disgusting. Some sweet girls smile back and others smile at everybody claiming to have a sweet smiling face - you want to stay away from those. My take on a smile is - A smile might work sometimes only, you should try it once!

The safest bet is to be yourself. Just move your ass and start a striking conversation. A conversation should follow after being enough observant. What she wears? what she holds? Is she a gadget(ipods,cell phones, portable dvd players) freak or she reads a lot? All this would just help you start a conversation with her. Now when you start a conversation, try not to kill the conversation. Ask her a question for which she has to explain the answer and not finish up by saying yes or no. Do you love to read? Vs You are a reading freak, how come you can read all the time?

It's easier said than done. All I know is it's more harder than you imagine it would be to start a conversation. A bit of confidence might show you a way.

Being punched on the face a numerous times, signing out in dysphoria!!
~RJ

Special thanks to Divya aka Sheval, Shveta, Neets & Kurt!