Will you "dowry" me!!??!

Believe me or not folks, but eavesdropping is poppin! You learn how happy you are when you listen a sad story, realize how lucky you are when you listen about a fateful destiny, makes you feel richer when you hear a poor speak and sometimes eavesdropping gives a bit more!

Location: Newark Penn Station
Scene: Waiting for the 5:49PM South Amboy Local train. A boy gets super excited meeting his friend after a long time (I am guessing the "long time" bit of it)

Boy: Hey felli
Girl: Andy, hii!! how have you been?
Andy: I am doing well Sherry! I tried to call you up in the morning today

(Both look very Indian and for some reason I was inquisitive to know their real names. Andy gets a phone call and he answers saying "Anand here" & Sherry still has her work I.D hanging around her neck which read Sherin Yeleswarapu)

Sherin: My flight was delayed by few hours so got in a bit late
Anand: So, how did it all go?
Sherin: The market is down these days, so the trip wasn't very fruitful
Anand: What do you mean?
Sherin: Dude, the stocks are soaring high and our family can't afford it. Moreover, its against my ethics to pay and get married
Anand: Oh! it still exists, I mean..uhmmm..is it still a practise?
Sherin: Yea! ask me about it, an engineer is worth a five hundred thousand, a doctor costs around the same, a lawyer is a ten hundred thousand, double the figures for a US degree.
Anand: Aww..thats sad!! Btw who marries a lawyer - just kiddin Sherin!
Sherin: (smiles) Do they want a girl or her money? Its really sad.

I got onto my 5:49 train with a powerful thought - Do they want a girl or her money? Very true, isn't it? I was wondering how the attitude of a selfish and a selfless mind works. A selfless mind who will leave her parents & family for you, cook food for you, change her last name to yours, accept your habits & mannerisms and many more against a selfish mind who needs all this and money for just getting married!!

Folks, its marriage, so let's keep it simple! Love for love, trust for trust and compromise for compromise! Let money not intervene our decision of loving or marrying somebody. At the same time gals, if your father wants to gift the son-in-law something huge expensive - we all really love such care! Lol!

Love thy would-be,
~RJ

Just say "No"

I am always amidst funny incidents. The other day at the train station a beggar (if I can call so) or an extensively money deprived man walked up to me and my friends and said, "Guys, I have to get till Linden. I have 5 dollars and need 2 bucks." Ahem - I am new to this country, I don't know how they treat such people here, should I say no, run away from there, smile at him or stay put-a thought that suddenly irrupted into the conscious mind.

I chose to play safe and just nodded my head in an disapproving fashion(READ: Indian fashion), Shai turned his face, so did the other guys standing along. He vociferated, "Guys, just say no! Don't turn your heads the other way". At that moment I felt I should have given him the 2 bucks!! A white man (No - this is not a racist term here, a white man is called "a white man") smiled at me and said, "Did you see that beggar with a f***ing attitude? You ask money and you showing such huge starry attitude". Phew! I felt a bit relieved! I took the train back home and was thinking to myself, the beggar made a point. If I had no interest of giving him 2 bucks I shouldn't have ignored his question, rather I should have said, No!

I also think its probably more to the Indians, we take it so personally when we have to say no. It's not that we lack assertiveness, we just feel its necessary to meet everybody's expectations. When asked one of my friends, he said, "I feel guilty when I say no" - trust me one of the smart workers at work.

Saying no at work, to your boss, to your relatives, to your parents, to relationships-both which work and don't work, sometimes to beggars should not be difficult. Also with saying no comes the fact of accepting "no" as an answer.

Say no without feeling guilty, say no with confidence.
~RJ